In Touch

i'm a barbie girl in a zombie world...

2011-09-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

it's 10 pm and you're now all fresh and cleaned up, wearing your silk like nighties, hair up and ready for bedtime. you tucked yourself in and have a feel of your pillows. after 5 minutes, you find yourself turning to your laptop... you've got 2 minutes to think if you're going to turn it on... and you tried to hold back.

but you just can't sleep... your mind is struggling between wanting to shut your eyes or keep it wide open... now you're thinking... and having a hard time sleeping... then you end up surfing the web... watching youtube videos... reading tweets... posting shouts on fb... like... comment... like... like... shout... chat...

indulgence... it's 4 am and you're still hooked up on the small screen...

when will sleep come to visit you... anna...

separation anxiety...

2011-09-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

in the next two months, i'll be living all by myself. it made me feel so sad thinking that my two beautiful angels will be away from me. the once noisy house i used to live will be very quiet i guess... i'll be missing being awaken by their laughter... my niece coming over my room to wake me up... going home and receiving big hugs from the kids... eating together and talking a lot...

*sigh* so hard to being used to living with a family and now shifting to being with just myself... i hope they'll miss me too...

love sucks...

2010-08-23T19:07:00.001+08:00

i hate to admit it but i am a sucker for love...
when i fall... i give all...
i drop flat on the ground...
i never win... always a failure...
when will i learn...
sigh... am a sucker for love...

suffer in silence...

2010-07-24T20:49:00.015+08:00

there are words you want to express but it's just too difficult to say...

there are feelings you want to show but you prefer to hold back..

you wanted to believe there's something... but it saddens you when there's really none...

you always seek for companionship... for happiness... for love...

but emptiness is where you fall...

now you suffer in silence...

my remedy song ;)

2010-07-05T00:18:00.000+08:00

Des'ree
Gotta Be
Big Sing 2008

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Others they may cause your tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted don't be shamed to cry

You gotta be, you gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My, oh, my, hey hey hey

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

Time asks no questions it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning can't stop it if you tried to
The best part is danger staring you in the face
Whoa

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Others they may cause your tears
Go ahead release your fears
My, oh, my, hey, hey, hey

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

You got to be bold, you got to be bad
You got to be wise, don't ever say it
You got to be hard, not too too hard
All I know is love will save the day

Love, love, love will save the day
Love, love, love will save the day
Love, love, love will save the day
Love, love, love will save the day

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save the day

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know love will save...

The day

Oooh, oooh
Oooh, oooh, oooh oooh, oooh

aren't we just lovely ;-)

2010-01-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

she's my bundle of joy... she never left me when i was depressed... she made me smile even in my saddest moments... she lighten up my darkest days... i really loved her though she's not my kid... but she's someone i can't get enough of...

my little bora ;-)

my favorite lines from 500 days of summer

2010-01-02T21:44:00.001+08:00

Rachel Hansen : "I know you think that she was the one, but I don't. I only think you're just remembering the good stuff... Next time you look back, I think you should look again."
______________________

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.
______________________

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.
______________________

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.
______________________

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.
______________________

Rachel Hansen: Just because she's likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.
______________________

Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.
______________________

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

*sigh* watched this movie on christmas day and new years day :-) and i cried... *sigh* my remedy movie, i guess hehehe

sweetest pain...

2009-12-19T23:08:00.007+08:00

looking back at what happened to me made me realize that life is not always a bed of roses. not all drama we watched on tv are make-believe... it does happen in real life. the biggest drama in my life happened when my fiance called off the wedding! it was august 26... everything has been set... the date... venue... rings... favors... entourage... sponsors...

the effort... time... love... everything was put to waste...

four long years... not bad at all... never had a big fight... almost perfect... but the perfect times ended... in just a snap... happy thoughts turned to sad ones...

painful... devastating... my heart totally damaged... i thought i'll never recover... almost died...

but God has His way of saving me... saving me from a bigger problem and more painful experience. this is His way... painful yes... but it's the best way. His own sweetest way of making me realize how He loves me.

i am saved... this is the sweetest pain...

saved from the fires of hell...

2009-12-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to get married today... Yes today, December 19, 2009. But it was called off, i got dumped! It was painful... Wickedly devastating, I was miserable... But then i thought... WHAT THE HECK?! I am totally free! And it feels good to be FREE! I imagined how my life's gonna be like to be with the person who's not really "the one". Surely it's gonna be like hell after tomorrow! WTF?!

Well... Thank God! I am saved... Saved from the fires of hell. The coming days will be heaven for me. I am better off single but not alone. :-)

Happiness! ;-)

Lab Test – Checking My Sugar Level

2009-06-21T20:10:00.000+08:00

6 am --- me and Erick went to Capitol for my lab test. No food intake and water since 10 pm the other night. It’s really early but it’s better actually. Wala akong kasabay sa laboratory.

The procedure was really painful… guess how many times I got injected to get blood samples… THREE!!! Waaaahhhhh!!!

The first was ok… just the usual prick of a needle for blood tests. But the nurse explained to me that there would be another after an hour… he made me drink a cold juice also but it was soooo sweet. It’s the glucose stuff and the hardest part there is that I cannot drink water… he only allows me to sip… as in konting konting sip… grabe!!! I almost throw up…

Sobrang torture… no food, no water… and my bf needs to eat breakfast before going to work… can you imagine me watching him while eating. He’s fascinating hehe coz he still bought me one bottled water… which I can’t drink at all.

Then the waiting is over… I went back to lab for my second shot. Another torture… the vein on my left arm is not visible… the nurse said that it’s very thin… and then he injected the needle… and it was sooooooooooooooo painful!!!! OOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!! Coz, he can’t find the vein, but then the needle was already inside my skin and he keeps on tapping a part of my arm while the host was wrapped tightly on to it! Waaahhhhhhh!!!! I told him to stop coz it really hurt. So what he did was to go back to my right arm where the first syringe was injected. Then he said, “malapit na ma’am matapos yung paghihirap nyo… after an hour, balik ka ulit for the last shot.” Whatduh???!!! Another injection???

What can I do… I asked for this… I can’t just back out. Then there I was… waiting again for another hour to pass… and turok again for the last time… haayyy… but this time, the nurse really tried to find my vein on my left arm and it was a success!!!

It was already almost 11 when I finished with my lab tests and I was really starving and thirsty. Then for a week, I had these four purple marks in my two arms… tsk tsk tsk… terrible…

Pre-Conception Check Up

2009-06-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

Getting married takes a lot of preparation. It is one way of checking if you’re really okay before you give your whole self to someone. It’s knowing whether you’re capable of having a baby or not. And it takes a lot of courage knowing you’re health and what’s going on with your body.

I had my first meeting with my OBGYNE last June 3 and this was actually my first time to have a regular doctor to check on me. I had my papsmear and well, it was kinda creepy. I was all nervous that my hands and body were shaking after the procedure. It was really awkward and I just can’t stop shaking… my mom even asked me why I was shaking.

Then my ob explained the need to start taking folic acid --- it’s a vitamin for a healthy preconception I guess… then she has to see my sugar levels and if I have ovulation. So I was scheduled for a lab test and transvaginal ultrasound. Lab test may be done anytime when I am free. I just need to fast starting 10 pm and have my lab at 6 am the next morning. Then I was also scheduled on June 10 to have my transvi ultrasound. I have to drink lots of water and pee before the procedure. The result of papsmear would be after a week and I’ll be going straight to my doctor for the assessment.

I really decided to have my ob even prior to my “soon-to-be” pregnancy. I really want to know if everything’s normal to me. Also, cervical cancer is hype these days. All the talks and stuff am reading about this scares me a lot. However, it’s really costly to have the vaccine. Dr. Quiambao is my ob from Capitol Medical and she’s really good and very dependable. She explains everything. With all the numbers she listed on anti cervical cancer vaccine to the pre-conception check up, I really tried to catch up on the terminologies and instructions. All the more that I like her because she’s really open and answers all my questions.

The Secretary:

Maribel is the name of Dr. Quiambao’s secretary. She looks scary and not so friendly. At first I really hate her because she seems to have an attitude problem. I first met her when I accompanied my mother for check up. We were endorsed to Dr. Quiambao’s clinic (which is why I also decided to have her as my ob). Somehow, doctors should choose a pretty and friendly secretary because that’s the first person you’ll meet in the clinic. Hehe, Maribel is the opposite. J But after a series of appointments with Dr. Quiambao, she seems to treat us differently… from being Ms. Sungit to Ms. Friendly.

I just can’t forget her in one of our appointments… she asked me, “ano po yun?” and I told her, “may appointment kme with Dr. Quiambao.” She answered, “Dr. Quiambao or Dra. Quiambao?” Then I said, “hmmm Dra. Quiambao…” Then I checked the name signage on the door… there might be another doctor in the clinic similar with the other clinics in that floor. To my surprise and hahaha, it was really funny… there’s no other doctor in that clinic other than Dr. / Dra. Quiambao!!! LOL!!!

Hmmm… funny girl…

valentine's day

2009-06-07T10:42:00.002+08:00

How can one celebrate this special day without splurging or spending? Fine dining, romantic setup, great food and sophisticated, classy venue… and yet not even a dime was spent??!!! Wow… how could that be? As for me and my baby, we had this very romantic date without even spending a single centavo… well, just gas. :)

Fine Dining – catered
Romantic Setup – Tiffany Chairs, Flowers and Classic Themed Setup
Great Food – Buffet lunch by CVJ
Sophisticated Classy Venue – Oasis Manila, Pavilion

Well, last February 14, Erick and I attended the grand food tasting of CVJ at Oasis Manila. Actually this was the second time we enjoyed the food of CVJ. We had our first food tasting which was exclusively prepared for us. Then we were again invited on this grand food tasting so that we could witness the set up of the reception. I never imagined how the preps will be this exciting!

Actually CVJ was the second caterer we tried (the first being Hizons). We loved the food and the set up of the reception area. Hizon’s also have good food especially the dessert and elegant reception set up. But they can’t provide tiffany chairs for the ceremony setup. We requested that our guests during the ceremony will be seated with tiffany chairs but Hizon’s limits it only to principal sponsors. CVJ can provide all tiffany chairs both reception and ceremony setup. We can’t say any negative stuff about CVJ. We met Joanne, who in fact is the owner of CVJ and stands as our AE. She’s very accommodating and open. She listens and suggests. They’re not that aggressive in advertising but they are known through word of mouth. Liza, our AE in Oasis introduced us to CVJ. She said it right… we never had a problem with CVJ. Joanne is a hands-on, working President of CVJ.
Our lunch date ended with Erick and I signing up for CVJ as our caterer. We’ll be meeting Joanne again this June for the details.

We continued enjoying this special day attending the bridal fair at megatrade hall. A lot of brochures and wedding stuff we collected as we roam around the venue. All these stuff found its way to the trash bin hehe :p SJT happened to perform in the fair. I was able to video how they performed the song “I’ll Take Care of You”. Made me fall in love deeper to Erick. The music was really enchanting. We got SJT in the package from Oasis. It made me more excited to hear them on our wedding day!

Things even got better in the evening. Hmmm… not the one you’re thinking of course hehe ;P We went to see BoyceAvenue at d block! Haayyy… truly, love is in the air!!! But we didn’t finish it because of the crowd… grabe dami tao!*sigh* again… what else can I ask for? The two of us together on this special day… cheezy but not corny! :)

the venue

2009-06-06T19:46:00.007+08:00

Erick and I started preparing for our wedding as early as January. And lo and behold! It really has to be that early especially when booking for the venue. Grabe... agawan sa date!

January 10 - we're set to meet Mr. Hardinero (that's how he calls himself) at 6 pm. We wanted a small garden wedding and from the pics I've seen from their website, we were thinking that the place would be ideal for our dream wedding. We were there at 6 pm but there was no one to attend to us. The gate was open and we've been trying to contact them but nobody was there. We waited and waited and waited... still... we didn't have a chance to see the place. Well, we immediately cross Mr. Hardinero out of our list. Nice flowers and landscaping though but we were stood up... negative vibe agad.

The following day, we attended the grand food tasting of Hizons at Oasis Manila. Talk about great food and fabulous set up. But you know what, it's not the food and the set up... it's the place --- Oasis Manila. We easily fell in love with the place. The garden and its landscaping... we really said "wow". And the pavilion... a big place for the reception. It was a really nice place... and here's the catch --- Erick --- he quickly decided to have the wedding there. As in, nagulat ako coz all the while I thought he's not interested with wedding preps... but then sya mismo nagsabi na, "dito na tayo. no need to check another venue." o di ba... demanding ang lolo nyo. He also do the talking... he asked a lot of question to the Hizons AE and also to Liza, our AE from Oasis. She's really very accommodating. And the best thing in her, she blocked our schedule agad. Full packed ang december... we almost lose our date but Liza's really fast with booking. Pay agad kami ng downpayment... kahit kulang hahaha! O di ba... Then that's when we decided to have it on december 19 coz wala ng ibang date na available in Oasis.

Here are some pics of the place... spacious sya especially the parking lot. Also good security. :)

*the garden*

*the pond*

*pathway*

*ceremony area*

*inside the pavilion*

*parking area*

wedding date

2009-06-06T19:12:00.002+08:00

december 19, 2009 (saturday)

we never thought it would be in december. i have been wishing to have my wedding in february... nice weather, love month and it's right after the season when all the bonuses are being given -- hehe talk about budget and stuff. but then again, my wedding ended up in december. well, not just my wedding but "our" wedding.

it was a decision made by two heads... two hearts... not just one. not just me alone. a decision made not because of the weather, not because of the budget, but because we wanted to get married. we decided together... to be with each other forever... legally on december 19, 2009. it actually took awhile to sink in to me... that i won't be alone in this life... that there would be that person who would stood by me, decide with me, argue, fight and cuddle me for the rest of my life. this is it! the big thing!

well, what's there on december 19? I AM GETTING MARRIED!!! wooohhhooo!!!

I'm Back!!!!

2009-05-31T17:40:00.006+08:00

<<<------- that's your sexy momma there!!!

YES!!! I'M BACK TO BLOGGING!!! Been yearssssss!!! and i really miss doing this! so what's new here... what's up??? what's there to blog??? what's on my mind now??? what's happening to me lately??? wooohhoooo!!! A LOT!!! and now... the story of my life surely takes a new chapter here. from being broken hearted to finding new love and now... taking the next higher step to love. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! ang corny di ba... hahahaha! well, that makes the wooorrrlllldddd go round!

paranoia

2006-07-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

think....

what made me think that something's going on without me knowing?

think...

happy thoughts

2006-07-08T20:59:00.000+08:00

i miss creating happy thoughts with you abby...

crying myself to sleep...

2006-07-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

don't know why...
it's not supposed to hurt this way
are we falling apart?

hope not...

feel so sad...
so alone...

please stop

:(

"naked"

2006-06-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

-- avril lavigne

I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
'Cause life is like a game sometimes

But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust

Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?

You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right

I'm tyring to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like you
To help me, to help me fit
In my skin

I never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?

You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right

I'm naked
Oh oh yeah
Does it show?
Yeah, I'm naked
Oh oh, yeah yeah

I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through, baby

valentines

2006-03-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

i thought valentine's day is just an ordinary day... ordinary day nga! even if you're with a special someone, you spend it just like any usual day... nothing special... hmmm... wala nga ba? yeah, we only had lunch on the 14th... nothing really special...

ehehehe... mine's not on valentine's day kse... celebrating valentine's lasted until feb. 15 =) my babylove erick is just fond of giving me surprises.... first valentine gift -- bob ong's stainless longganisa... hmmm... not that sweet... nxt gift... eto masaya --- ballpen courtesy of mc donalds... o devah!!! :) nyehehehe

but i never knew he would go his way looking for a starbucks store with the available planner(coz out of stock lahat and you have to make a reservation just to get one)! grabeh! i have actually totally forgotten about it coz middle of feb na nga d ba and wala pa din ung starbucks planner! o devah! =)

he is just sooo sweet... i never knew na the coupon was with him... i can't even recall that i gave it to him... pano nga pala napunta yon sa yo, ha erick?!

well... valentine's is just an ordinary occasion... i don't think so!!! =)

brian

2006-03-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

i just want to quote what this boy said during his stay here in the philippines...

"if pwedeng hindi matulog just to do everything i wanted before i leave... every minute counts..."

geesshh... we really have to live our life to the fullest... it's true, each minute counts... every breathe we take makes us fulfill a piece of something in our life... which is why we need to choose what is worth doing...

coz in a snap... we might miss the best things in life

brian (in blue tshirt) with the bunch of hotshots :) --- nyahahaha lahat pala cla naka blue!!!!

greatest christmas and new year ever!

2006-01-05T19:27:00.000+08:00

december and january were filled with first times with erick... our first christmas and new year together... my first time to bring a special someone in nueva ecija and his first time to meet my relatives... our first time to have a fight and new year pa (saya noh) :) my first christmas and new year with his family (dami food and gifts hehehe) and our first surprise gift na talagang surprise hehehe with partners in crime (his mom and sis) =)

dami pa actually na nangyari... and everything will be treasured and kept in my heart.

more happy thoughts

2005-12-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

creating more happy thoughts :)

i wonder how our baby would look like... hmmm...
one time, i was showing these pics to the friend of my mom and she said "uy, magkamukha kayo, look at the way you smile and the cheekbones". hehehe, cyempre kilig ako... i don't know how true but someone told me that when you and your partner have similar features, magkakatuluyan daw. hmmm...... ok, let's play a game here! spot the similarities! :p

at penguin bar - poetry night

at starbucks megastrip - showing some skin :)

at ek - bagay!

serenading my baby at musicmatch

ek ulit - sweet noh! :)

ek

2005-12-05T09:08:00.000+08:00

saya saya!!! i had a great time with my family --- familia ablaza :)

it was actually a team off but of course the original family -- katz, nhoel, uncle third, dadskie erick and me joined the group. we had a great time at enchanted kingdom. it was fun even if late na kme pinapasok. we were there by 4:30 but the shell group reserved the place until 6 pm that's why we stayed outside... kulitan and picture picture lng :)

ang saya coz just like what i did to my team when we went there, everyone should be on the same rides. kaso nga lng pagdating sa space shuttle, d na ako sumama! never will i ride space shuttle and anchors away again... i'll be good as dead the next time. :s

first day funk

2005-11-16T19:50:00.000+08:00

school's back! geesshh... am back to being a geek!!! =D

this is quite funny... i have this class --- IR 207.2 --- am section b and i was supposed to be in school every wednesday. i really don't know why it stuck on my mind that my class was thursday. hehehe... first mtg, i was absent. during the second mtg, i was still absent!!! nyahahahahahaha!

*sigh* paperworks na naman... and lots of it....

meet the parents part 2

2005-11-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

my turn now to meet erick's family.

last nov. 6, i met the familia ablaza --- the whole family --- even his cousins and dogs, o devah! they are sooo cool! his younger bros (mike and abet) taught me a handshake ("in" ka if you know that handshake, if not -- ah... er... wala lng :D). then his mom is such a sweety. she told me stories about my babylove when he's still a kid... personal stuffs... hehehe family thing so i cnt write it here, sowee :) then bianca, his sis, well, am beginning to love her polvoron factory (grabe d man lang nakarating sa haus namin ung bigay nya!) so just place your order here, mura lng, just email me about it :D

they're a bunch of sweeties... warm, so friendly, cool, bait pa... and katuwa talaga coz i felt like i belong! i really cannot forget that moment! first time ko kaya un, hehehe :) ganon pala ang feeling... well, it's actually the least that i expected... i thought i have to be like this, or like that, act like or like that, must be like this or like that... but no! it's like they've known me for so long!

the funny thing now... i really can't imagine how i looked like when we're about to leave na. i was planning to kiss his mom goodbye but i really don't know why i can't lift my two feet towards her! i don't know if i have to kiss her or just say "bye po, uwi na po kme". well, ayun, d na nga ako naka-kiss and it's like i can't let go of erick's hand non. para bang mawawalang bata! :) then i told erick about it... hehehe... sabi ko "dapat ba nag-kiss ako sa mama mo? nahihiya kse ako e..." hehehe oks ba? :)

hayyy... sarap ng feeling to be part of their family. i have my new family and this is something i will treasure forever. :)

meet the parents ;P

2005-11-03T13:13:00.000+08:00

it was an exciting weekend! last october 29 was my mother's birthday and we had a little celebration in our house in dasmariñas. it was also the first time that my babylove erick stayed overnight with my family. not actually the first time that he met my parents but his stay there was kinda long for them to have a talk... geeessshhh... nagkaroon cya ng kakampi!!! waaaaahhhh!!! :(

i was actually expecting that my parents would tell things that would scare him away (like that on the movies) but that's not what happened. aba, super close sila ha! well, at least di pa din sya pasado sa mga dogs ko... especially to spotless (grrrr) hehehe :)

now, he's part of my family and am so happy!

bohemian

2005-11-01T13:23:00.000+08:00

bohemian chuvacheneses

our company just celebrated our 35th anniversary and we had our national convention at Holiday Inn, Clarkfield, Pampanga. well, dresscode for the awards night --- BOHEMIAN.... formal, decent bohemian attire... geessshhh! took me a week to look for that! :) it's funny though, we're very excited to see our dresses and accessories. if d ba naman excited, from divisoria at 7 pm, we were asked by my soulsistah charo to meet her sa office just to see my dress. hehehe... excited ang lola ko!!!

thank God i have a bf like erick... he accompanied me in divisoria to look for a dress and he was even the one who chose my accessories! o devah, bongga ang lolo ko! :D and it didn't end there... the night before the celebration, i still looked for additional accessories kse feeling ko d bagay ung nabili ko... or para may pagpiliin ba... u know... hehehe kikay talaga :)

hayyy... natapos din ang nyt... i was planning to have my hair curled, but d na natuloy because there was no enuf time (and dami ng nagpa-curl--- nalaman yata nila na magpapacurl tayo charo :p). anyway, ok naman ung bohemian ko... kahiya... AM GETTING FAT AGAIN!!! katawa ung dress ko... ang sikip grabeeehhh! d kinaya ng powers ng girdle ni mariles!!! :D d tuloy ako makakain ng madami... hirap pa huminga hehehe... hayyy... sarap pa naman ng oysters and desserts... sigh... but okay lng... pretty pa din :D but then i really need to lose some pounds... as in! kse new wardrobe na naman ako for sure if i dnt control my diet. kse naman...

well, that bohemian thingy was cool! enjoy ang group and the boys look good, too! ganda ng mga bohemian attire nila! anyway, congrats charo and mc for that cool natcon celebration!

ang taray ng lola mo :p

defense mechanism

2005-10-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

---in psychoanalysis, any of a variety of unconscious personality reactions which the ego uses to protect the conscious mind from threatening feelings and perceptions. Sigmund Freud first used defense as a psychoanalytic term (1894), but he did not break the notion into categories, viewing it as a singular phenomenon of repression.

am trying to cope from a lonely past... i've been thinking if i should believe in the so-called "life patterns". is there such thing as life patterns? if it's a series of negative experiences, should it really be that painful to accept? is there any way to avoid it? or.............. break it?

repression and denial --- primary defense mechanisms which serve to prevent unacceptable ideas or impulses from entering the conscience. ways of coping from such downers... or this plainly explains the chickenshit on me...

maybe yes... i am afraid...

can't just live without my fears... apprehensions... anxiety...

can freud help me?

happy thoughts

2005-10-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

"happy times together we've been spending, i wish that every kiss was neverending"

lines from a lover : "...naalala ko ulit yung sinabi mo, "love created by migraine and toothache", then naalala ko yung sinabi ko "Love created by migraine and toothache leading to cramps". Ano kaya kasunod nito? Meron ba? Positive ba o negative? If I am Peter Pan, now I feel like John. I lost my marbles (John's happy thought). Did I? I hope not. But what if I did? Today I did a lot of things, not all of them are good. I was able to find out how much I love you. I found out how much you mean to me, how much I mean to you. Then all of a sudden.... I made you cry... hope I can do something... something to make you forget that this has happened....or something that will make you feel better....make you feel loved....appreciated.. respected.......treasured. Anyway, I hope you can start your day with "love created by migraine and toothache" I love you! I don't want to lose you! I want to stay with you forever!.....I miss you!

xablazeinsidex: I'm still staring at our picture, wishing that I may still experience the pleasure of all these happy thoughts.

abby ko... we'll continue to create happy thoughts... upto forever :)

praises to the Father

2005-10-19T18:46:00.000+08:00

just last sunday, the c-major had a concert in our church and guess what??? i was their special guest performer :D whew! tindi ba?! hehehe :) it's a night of praises, sort of a thanksgiving concert highlighting the 80th anniversary of UCCP-Kundiman.

The group --- C-major with homegrown talents and the band :)

performance proper - aleli singing her heart out :)

the singer in me :) i missed doing this stuff...

does anybody here need Jesus?

hala! cge! project! :p

at nagkasiyahan :D

jamming ;)

the photographer and the artist :) ang papanget nyooooo!!! :P

more today than yesterday :)

2005-10-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

can't forget how my baby sings his heart out with this song... intro pa lang ng mymp, he shouted, "anna that song is for you! sa yo yan!" :) i really don't have any idea about this song until he sang it... grabeeehhh! the lines made me giggle :D

I don't remember what day it was
I didn't notice what time it was
All I know is that I fell in love with you
And if all my dreams come true
I'll be spending time with you

Every day's a new day in love with you
With each day comes a new way of loving you
Every time I kiss your lips my mind starts to wanderAnd if all my dreams come true
I'll be spending time with you

Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But, darling, not as much as tomorrow

Tomorrow's date means springtime's just a day away
Cupid, we don't need ya now, be on your way
I thank the lord for love like ours that grows ever stronger
And I always will be true
I know you feel the same way too

Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But only half as much as tomorrow

sarap ma-in love :) got this song from him... and heard it during the mymp concert at music museum last oct. 1... well, treat ni erick yon sa kin... buti na lng nagka-migraine ako hehehe :)

am loving you more every minute of every single day that passes by, abby ko :)

abby and oi

2005-10-04T16:17:00.000+08:00

"love created by migraine and toothache leading to cramps." :)

i found my angel... my heavensent

he saved me from loneliness

my antidote

the beautiful soul

the wonderful daze who conquered my world

my sweet diversion

and now...

someone i decided to grow old with

"kwento ni amang hari, inang reyna at c tong"

2005-09-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

this is fun! try reading "alamat ng gubat" by bob ong. it could be an allegory of our present government, society, the social milieu to which the different animals characterized in this book signifies the personality of the filipino people. grabehhh, dapat bang i-analyze ung book???

anyway, the book was given to me as a ??? (to make me happy, i guess) by erick when he visited me in the office with katz and nhoel. thanks erick! really sweet of you! may kasama pang pizza un at galing un kay katz!!! :D actually, d ko kse maintindihan cla... d ako makarelate gosh!!! :D c katz daw ay c "tong" and c daddy erick nya syempre c "amang hari"... the next day tawag na nila sa kin "inang reyna" hehehe... kaso baligtad ang nangyari sa book! i had a migraine kse and c amang hari dinalaw ako with medicine and jabi breakfast meal (saya!!! libre breakfast ko!!!) hehehe... kaso dapat c tong ung nagdala ng gamot at ang may sakit dapat c amang hari (sa book) nga lng... c tong busy kaya c amang hari "naglog-off agad sa friendster at dali daling pumunta sa kakahuyan para hanapin ang puso ng saging" nyehehehe :D

ewan... basta ang saya ng family ko :) sana lagi akong may sakit hehehe :)

hanapin nyo ngaun dto sa pic cno c tong, amang hari at inang reyna at manalo ng ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tatlong perlas nyehehehe :D

nawawala c inang reynaaaa!!!!! :D

oi gcng naaaa!!!

2005-09-15T19:51:00.000+08:00

have you ever had a friend who wakes you every morning through txt messaging?
--- and if you didn't reply, would never stop txting you to wake up and remind you that you'll be late for work :D (oi, ale gcng na! oi, gcng na late ka na! oi, gcng na past 6 am na, bk ma-late ka. oi, gcng naaaaaaaa! oi, gcng ka na ba? oi gcng ka na cguro, kung hindi pa gumising ka na.... oist! 2log ka na ba ulit? oi bkt ayaw mong gumising! ma le late ka na naman nyan e!) :D

have you ever had a friend who tells you to start your day with happy thoughts?
--- and would really give you happy memories to think about --- enough to start your day with a smile or a laugh :) (that even if you're having a really bad day and into tears na, you can't help but smile sa msg nya)

have you ever had a friend who reminds you to eat your lunch (kahit 8 am palang... so dapat breakfast di ba? hehehe :D )
--- and tells you na wag magpagutom kse magagalit cyaaaaaa!!! :p

have you ever had a friend who takes time to check on you if you're already in the office or homey na?
--- and updates you with what's he/she is up to... hmmmm.... cguro gusto nya check ko din cya... :D

have you ever had a friend who sings you off to sleep? (kaso nakakatawa cya kaya maggcng ka lalo.... nyahahaha!) ;p
--- and because of the constant txting and chatting, even sa sleep katxt mo cya (whew!)

well... swerte mo if you have this kind of friend!

ako kse meron eh! :D

tell you... saya saya talaga! :)

burnout

2005-09-14T15:43:00.000+08:00

am so tired..... :(

my new blogger account

2005-09-12T19:12:00.000+08:00

yeeeeeyyyyyyyy! got a new blogger account!!! nobody could ever stop me from writing... :D

now... check out my blogs from friendster... transferred everything here!!! yahooooo!!! :)

escapist

2005-08-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

it's really hard to let go of someone you've held soooo dear... the best buddy and lover...

he's the object of my affection... until now... unless "someone" could conquer my world and divert my endearment from him... it's difficult to accept that even the friendship you've started together will be gone...

*sigh*... wish i could escape the feeling of...

misery

sadness

emptiness

life has to go on. “Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances” (Martha Washington). there are really some good things that never last. never regret... acceptance is the key to healing.

but for now... am praying that i could easily escape from this pain.

"stubborn love"

2005-08-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

i forgot to include in my natural highs the one thing i loved most... SINGING. i missed singing my heart out. i used to be a member of a church choir and it's been awhile that i have not belted out a single note. i guess God already took that only talent i have... *sigh*
but last two Sundays ago, i attended the church service in my home church (which i never visited for years, i guess... bad ko noh!). and that Sunday... the choir let me join in singing the anthem... geessshhh... as usual wala na namang practice and am not sure if nun din lang ulit ang choir kumanta sa church... tsk tsk tsk. anyway, what strucked me was when the choir invited me to join, syempre mejo hesitant ako coz it's been years since the last choir piece i've sang... but it's somewhat like an awakening for me... again... ang tindi ng effect nung song... the title is "stubborn love". here are some few lines from the piece...
"Caught again ~ Your faithless friend. Don't You ever tire of hearing what a fool I've been? Guess I should pray ~ But what can I say? Oh it hurts to know the hundred times I've caused You pain; Though 'forgive me' sounds so empty when I never change. Yet You stay and say 'I love you still', forgiving me time and time again.. It's Your stubborn love that never lets go of me... I don't understand how You can stay..."
tindi noh! grabeh... it stings! i wanted to cry when we're singing but i controlled it na lang coz syempre kahiya naman d b... but i felt a prick in my heart... parang binatukan din ako ni Lord! sobra... then i told myself, hey i should really go back to church na and do something with my deteriorating spirit... hehehe... well, ewan ko ba last Sunday, i overslept so i wasn't able to attend church... but i prayed though i know it's not enough.
i hope i'll be okay and God's helping me out, i know. i can feel that He's always with me... sobrang dami ng work both in school and office but i still manage to finish them all...d na nga lng me sleep :( and i am somehow starting to overcome the feeling of emptiness (i hope that i already cried my last teardrop for him...kamalasan, last night lang un... *sigh*)
i wanted to share this song and this helped me feel good about myself, kahit papaano... the title is "i think God can explain". am not sure if i could make a link of the song here... di yata puede. but this is really cool. if you want a copy, just email me :)

There's a lot of things I understand, And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know But you're the only face I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain... I believe I'm the same I get caried away

It's alright, I'm O.K. I think God can explain... I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get over it yet

The scent of vasoline in the summertime, The feel of an icecube Melting overtime The world seems bigger Than both of us Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry

It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I believe I'm the same I get carried away

It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get over it yet.

I'm so much better than you guessed I'm so much bigger than you guessed I'm so much brighter than you guessed

I'ts alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I believe I'm the same I get carried away

It's alright I'm O.K. I think God can explain I'm relieved I'm relaxed I'll get off of your back

think God can explain I think God can explain I think God can explain

stuck in a moment

2005-08-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

well, well, well... my 4th blog for august. so what's up with me? haven't had a time to reflect and it's been a while that i've asked myself "how are you, anna?". so how am i doing these past few days... hmmm... ahmmmm... (icp icp...) hirap! grabeh! kindah hard to think about "me" :(

so let me try to list some of my natural highs for these past weeks...

1. my soulsistah charo gave me a mug from starbucks... what made me happy is the thought that despite her money probs, she managed to buy me a mug from starbucks. but the mug depressed me quite a bit... why? design ng mug --- "TAGAYTAY" --- so what? well... starbucks tagaytay lng naman kme nagpunta non ng ex ko before we totally stopped seeing each other... such sweet memories that made me miss him more... *sigh*

2. chocettes --- am starting to add some pounds coz of this new cadbury product... geessshhh... melts in your mouth not in your hand :)

3. 2 bottles of beer after work with some of my officemates lights up the mood to go back and stay late in the office and work more... though minsan lang un pag may budget hehehe :)

4. just last week, i learned to play billiards. it's fun and kindah addictive! i played even if my boss gave a lecture to some of our officers and while everybody's sunk quiet, listening to him, i shouted with delight everytime i make a strike! yahoooo!!! (sus naman... 11:30 pm lecture about office... tsk tsk tsk) :D

5. i tried watching tv but i really cnt find time... am usually home by 11 or 12 midnight (though my work is upto 6 pm lng...) and i end up watching the news. good thing we have cable... i tried watching desperate housewives... grabe... never pa ako nakatapos ng isang palabas... tsk tsk tsk...

6. in connection to number 5... i met this great soul and he's a teleserye addict i guess... hehehe :D he has watched the whole season 1 of desperate housewives and he's willing to give me a copy! thanks erick! hulog ka ng langit! :) un nga lng... sabi nya kse he can't promise so sabi ko naman i'll send cds para promise na :) eh... he said he still have spare cds so un na lng daw muna and he'll just give me the receipt to replace the cds... so d na nga cya promise... :( but it's ok, he'll try i know hehehe... maawa ka plsss... :D

7. i've been chatting with these techies we met in galera... 3rd (bro of my soulsistah so soulbro ko na din cya hehehe), cool nhoel, pretty katz, buboy (minsan lng cya), raul (cya din minsan lng), clifford (some-times) and their boss erick. well, i guess am helping them to unwind for a bit while they work. they are usually online from 9 pm upto 9 am... ang gagaling nito! a group of witty, clever, humble, beautiful souls from alorica! saya saya nyo kachat! cge quota na bilis para number 1 ulet! :D

8. music is therapy... really... especially if you're listening to songs like "the remedy", "beautiful soul", "stuck in a moment", "fields of innocence", "i think God can explain", "angel"... but if you want to be sad and feel so empty, try listening to "everybody hurts", "come around", "art of letting go", "let go", "my immortal", "until i get over you", "hanggang ngayon", "fallen"... demnit! :(

9. looking on the bright side of breaking up, nakakatipid na me :D somehow, am starting to save some of my salary... more than enough na... enough to pay my long list of bills! *sigh*... at least it's for "me" alone... hehehe

10. natural highs ba ito??? i was able to list 10... wow! coz this last item is simply just blogging. addict na ako... another therapy for me, i guess :) maybe you guys from my friendster list are starting to get irritated because of the constant posting in ur inbox, bombarded ur emails with a msg that i have updated my blog... hehehe :D akala nyo email na from your bf or gf noh... nde uy! it's my BLOG!!! :P

*sigh*... i finally finished my blog... started it at around 9 pm i guess... now it's 10:40 pm... hehehe... tagal noh... ang kukulet kse ng mga kachat ko e... ayan... ginabi na naman ako :) but it's ok... saya naman e! ;) till the next blog...

sigh

2005-08-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

wish i'll be ok... in time....................................

why?

2005-08-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

geessshhh... why friends lng? oh darn! tsk tsk tsk... :(

pathetic...

2005-08-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

sounds pathetic but i find it nice, though... hehehe :)

Artist: Rhett Miller

Song: Come Around

Lyrics :

I'm dressed all in blue

And I'm remembering you

And the dress you wore

When you broke my heart

I'm depressed upstairs

And I'm remembering where

And when, and how, and why

You have to go so far

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

Unless you come around

So come around

I'm dressed all in white

And I remember the night

You came on to me

And opened up my heart

I was hollow then

'Til you filled me in

Now I'm empty again

I should have never let it start

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

Unless you come around

So come around

No one else can fix me

Although sometimes my heart tricks me

Into thinking someone else will do

But you're the only one

You are the only one

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life

Unless you come around

So come around

I'm dressed all in blue

And I'm remembering you

And the dress you wore

When you broke my heart

shyyyeeettt!!! 4 colors!!! hurhurhur! :D

nyehehe ;D

2005-07-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

it's funny to read the msgs i've been receiving from friendster pips... cool msgs, some r hilarious, mind-boggling sometimes, and a few heartwarming replies. but i have been asking this question... do these people read everything on ur profile??? well... it's a big "NO"!!!

*sigh* what's d profile for if you're not gonna read it, ryt? if these people cud jst read between d lines... well... no need to ask... if u get what i mean. =)

geeessshhh... current affairs daw o... huh??? ano ba yan...

bored

2005-07-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

*sigh*

so bored...

really bored...

and it's on a friday night!

someone save me...

from this damn boredom...

so bored...

really bored...

*sigh*

"Reality of Life"

2005-07-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Life isn't just full of happiness,
It's sunsets, it's love, it's tears.
It's the thoughts of yesterdays memories,
That can wash away all out fears.

It's that very painful experience,
That each one of us has had.
It's the laughter that fills the air,
It's the tears when you are sad.

It's loving that someone special,
That at one time made you smile.
It's the pain of losing that person,
But the memories that make it worthwhile.

It's that child in every one of us,
Although in time we'll all be old.
It's the good times we'll never forget,
It's the memories we'll always hold.

It's the hug that we all need,
When we'd rather drown in our sorrow.
It's the hope in every one of us,
That makes us hold on for tomorrow.

*** Life is not just mere evolution... you have the SOUL that will lead you to its meaning... :)

separation anxiety

2005-07-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

how i wish my starbucks cup would be able to escape its hostage-taker and find its way back at my desk... *sigh*

how i wish there would be more chat, txt and calls from my ex-bf... (friends naman tayo d b?)

*sigh*

*hhhhhmmm* :(

...why, God?

2005-07-24T20:35:00.000+08:00

it's sunday... haven't gone to church for quite sometime now... i dnt knw why but it seems that it's making me weak lately... i opened my inbox and it's funny that i get to received a number of friendster requests and msgs from people i dnt knw. makes me feel wanted and i realized that i still belong to the real world.

but there's this email that i find very helpful... some kind of nourishment to the soul... it's the 5 ways God uses problems to help us out... well, it's actually very timely at this moment of my life now... read on...

Five Ways God Uses Problems

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways" Proverbs 20:30

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.

People are like tea bags. If you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith; and this will give you patience." James 1: 2-3.

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.

Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship...by losing it. "It was the bestthing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm: 119:71-72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem-but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for the good." Genesis 50:20.

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems ....they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point:

God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with HIM.

there goes the answers to my only question "why, God?" :)

false hope...

2005-07-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

there's so much to say... but i just can't utter the right words... words that i know would mean nothing in the end...
there's so much to give... but will forever be kept...

without a doubt, i have loved you more than what i thought i could give... i might have been loving you even before that it just surfaced when you have treated me so special... yeah... you have treated me differently... a person with dignity... a woman to be respected... a girl to be taken cared of... a friend to be trusted... a lover to be cuddled... and loved... you have shown me love which i never doubted... you're true even if i know you're full of lies... you get rid of your mask whenever you're with me... and i enjoyed your being so true to yourself... you're you... nobody else...

if only i could hug you and stay with you as much as i wanted...
if only i could kiss you and never leave your side...
if only i could live my life just with you...
if only i could touch your soul... your heart... always...
but it can't be...

there's so much to say... so much to give... but it just can't be done... just can't be...

girlfriends

2005-07-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

i miss my girlfriends... we usually hang out at starbucks ortigas to chat about anything (boys, work, boys, work, boys, work... et...) over a cup of coffee =) well... i was actually with zel after my bday and we had a great time in dasma (picture picture ;p)... and my bestfriend pauline, girl, thanks for staying up with me on my bday... hope the jacuzzi thing didn't bore u :) (gawin ba naman footspa ang jacuzzi??!!! ay ako pala un, hehehe). joan... gahhhddd girl! where r u???

*sigh* i miss u girls... a week of not seeing each other seems lyk years (nax!)... i guess ur jst bc with ur own boyfriends... darn! sana ako din!!! :(

drop dead

2005-07-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

Am not ok… am a waste… how can I be so deranged about love…
God, I hate this bitter taste of losing someone I’ve held so dear…
I’ve messed up a part of my existence… sunk so low…

The wound is just too painful, healing seems to be impossible; redemption is nowhere to be found.

I have nothing and no one to turn to… except for this damn blog to somehow ease the agony... of being alone…

How I wish the heavens would bend to take my hand and carry me up from the tracks of frustration… and desolation… and stupidity… and…

DAMN! Is this the feeling of dying?

Wish this would end soon… like… now?

...at 29

2005-07-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

why do people gasp when they get to know my age??? damn, am 29!!! don't i look lyk one? hehehe, don't worry, it's the other way around... actually, i guess i look lyk 5 yrs older my age... nyak! :)

looking back, my life was a roller coaster... it's full of excitement. come to think of it... i've been to different relationships, dropped them all in an instant, experienced being loved and dumped also (too bad, tsk tsk tsk), experienced travelling alone (plane trip ito ha), got a free trip to singapore, had my first 5-digit paycheck, become iskolar ng kumpanya and iskolar ng bayan, renew old friendships and meet new people, even lose some "friends?" (with question mark... nyehehehe), cried so hard and laughed out loud, and oh well, experienced the greatest love (so far) that i'll never regret having...

so what's in store for me this year? i actually told my bestfriend paul and soulsistah cha (nax! ispeysyal mention) that i started my year ryt... no dumb boyfriends, got promoted at work, no 2.0 in my course subject (damn, i hate that teacher who gave me 2.0!), lose weight (my waistline is now 26 from 29... gosh!), and got my hair long (it's beyond my shoulders na, yipppeeee!!!). though i have probs in my work and relationships with people (plsss tantanan na ako ng chismis), i am surviving. heck! am happy!!! it's right, being happy is a choice... even if am still single at 29, even if i lose some of my so-called friends, even if i still got pimples on my face (ewwwwe), even if i have bulges (too much pasta), even if my boss yells at me (anna, focus!; anna, think and analyze!), even if i stay late in the office (chatting? hehehe) --- geeessshhh! am still alive and happy! :) of course, it's just normal to feel bad about an issue, to feel sad, to get affected, feel empty and depressed (singing "when will it be me" every now and then), but hey, it's not the end of the world! i believe what my boss ernie (nakanang! ispeysyal minsyun also) told me that all these will make no sense in the future, that i would remember them and just laughed about it... i know it's becoming true... well, some... hehehe :)

just last week, my friend nhoel (ispeysyal mention ka din) asked me if i do have a regular date. i said, none... then he said am weird! gahhhddd!!! what is so weird about having no regular date??? what can i do if nobody asked me out???what is so weird is that am 29 and i dnt even know what is the difference between a prawn and a shrimp! darn!=(

*sigh*... am now 29... i jst celebrated it last friday... my staff gave me a cake and a bouquet of roses... the whole day, i received msgs of "happy birthday, anna" (even upto now... better late than never) and... i actually lost my starbucks cup and i miss it (someone took it, i know)... geesshh, these things still matters... and it's fun! and the hell with being single and no date at 29! :p

am anna. am 29. single, free, happy and gorgeous (nyahahaha)! and am hungry for more adventure... =) (and continuously singing "when will it be me... when will i be the one somebody's dreaming of? when's it gonna be? when will i find my heart lyin' inside the arms... that never let me go...?" hehehe =)

my new credo: nothing and no one will disappoint me... accept the opposite forces for it balances life... it's universal.

love... ang friendster ni jian...

2005-07-11T20:06:00.000+08:00

this is what love really is... check out jian's friendster, this girl is cool!!! ;)

About Me:

love brings to mind different images, impression and emotion...our experience of luv is both exalting and exasperating... thrilling and saddening... when we're in luv, we felt happiness... it brings contentment, satisfaction that makes a person complete... sometimes we became too complascent to the extent we give our heart and soul, ourselves, all the things that makes our beloved happy...thinking that its a never ending relationship and luv w/out asking or recquiring anything in return...we do things that pleases him and please those people that are close and dear to him...we also center our present plans and future plans take him in...true luv is the insistence of the inclusion of that certain person in all our future plans... luv is acceptance and sacrifice...accepts him for who he is even f his situation are complicated... luv is an all embracing thing...it respects personality and right of the beloved...it lights our life, gives meaning to our existence and it's more than just a wonderful feeling...

if you're thinking of your past you may view it as a failure but, when you find someone new, you suddenly see this failure as a teacher...in the game of love, it doesn't matter who won or loss...what is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go...you love someone if you want him to be happy, even if his happiness means not being part of it...everything happens for the best...if the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again...you'll never know if his destined to you, unless you'll give it a try or unless you risk it...

love strives and grow in hurting... if u don't get hurt, you wont know how to love...this will teach you to become strong and become a better person..like a book u cannot finish the book w/out closing its chapters...to move on you have to leave the past behind, in the same way u turn the pages...love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress...it is a lifetime venture

Who I Want to Meet:

wherein we are always learning, discovering and growing... loves greatest irony is letting go when you need to hold on, or holding on when u need to let go...loving people means giving them the freedom to choose...

laundrymat

2005-07-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

i will always have sweet memories when i go to the laundrymat... my ex-bf would usually accompany me there, carrying a big plastic bag full of dirty clothes... the laundry girls usually giggles when we're there... coz my ex-bf is such a sweet guy and doesn't mind cuddling me even if a lot of people could see us :)

when we broke up, we remain friends so he would still accompany me in the laundrymat. one time, a new girl was there to get my laundry... we talked, she giggles as my ex have fun with us... and when i get to know her name... guess what??? she had d same name as the new gf of my ex!!! damn!!!

i will always have sweet memories of the laundrymat... *sigh* :D

one last shot...

2005-07-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

am trapped in a void

pure nothingness

empty handed

left with only pain and sorrow

still breathing

stupidly thinking

to be in your oasis

again...

weekend in galera

2005-06-24T19:56:00.000+08:00

the best time i ever had (as of now ha) was being with my soulsistah in white beach and having a great fun time with a bunch of techies, pretty and handsome people from ortigas... hehehe... really cnt remember their company...

well... i guess i have experienced life -- the blissful feeling of just being yourself, doing things nobody would even mind, staying late chatting about relationships, love and play over a bottle of beer with chauvinist guys (sorry... hehehe), baring yourself in the sun, sand and sea... *sigh* this is life...

now... pano ako magpapaputi??? ;)

braces

2005-06-24T19:55:00.000+08:00

kailan... o kailan... i've been waiting for that time na matanggal ka na... it's been five (5) long years na pinahihirapan mo ako... every month, 3-5 days akong diet because of adjustment... oh please oh please... have mercy on me... :(

angelic presence

2005-05-08T19:50:00.000+08:00

I will be there in your sorrow, when life delivers pain
I'll bring balm to your heartache when sunshine turns to rain.
You won't sense Me as close to you when earthly joys compete
But I'll be there when sorrows come - God's will, to make, complete.

You won't find Me among the crowds who carry you along
But I'll be there when you are called to walk this world alone.
Your need of Me exists far more when pain must be your part
I come to heal, and do God's will, down deep within your heart.

You'll sense a guiding force upon a life, that's loved so muchYou'll feel the Hand of God, and know His gentle, healing touch.So, neither fear, nor shrink from that which God has meant to be
For in the dark night of your soul - You'll learn the most from ME.

love is never silent...

2005-05-08T19:46:00.000+08:00

love is never silent
it's voice has many parts
more than a word
spoken not inferred
touching many hearts

love is never silent
thought gives birth to word
a whisper and a heart beat
never silent..
soft and sweet
yet sounds both felt and heard

softly but never silent
loves word transforms to deed
as though gives voice
and the words rejoice
fulfilling every need

It is always felt

* though we travel the world over for the beautiful..
we must carry it with us
or we find it not.

------------------------
i chose to love you in silence for in silence i find no rejection. i chose to love you in your loneliness for in your loneliness, no one owns you but me....
(but i know u could feel it for love is never silent).....

only time

2005-05-08T19:43:00.000+08:00

Who can say
Where the road goes
Where the day flows
- Only time

Who can say why your heart sighs
as your love flies
-Only time

And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies
-Only time

Who can say when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart

And who can say when the day sleeps
if the night keeps
all your heart

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say if your love grows
as your heart shows
-Only time

And who can say
Where the road goes
Where the day flows,
-Only time

Who knows
-only time

Who knows
-only time.....

the art of letting go

2005-05-08T19:36:00.000+08:00

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that I'd keep you here

Once you believed in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
You’re still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most

Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning,
only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

To Put It Simply, I Want You

2005-04-22T19:32:00.000+08:00

I want to be your companion and walk hand in hand, your strength enveloping mine. Autumn leaves falling, scuffing feet and laughter, sharing nights, not finished by the dark.

I want to be your confidant as you pen your deepest thoughts, as your heartaches bleed and finally break free. Your dreams, I keep as if my own. I want to smile as you smile and giggle with you at nothing at all.

I want to be your lover and find the passions that move you to action. I want to be the softness that induces you to trust. I want to be the naughty that makes you come back for more. I want to please you.

I want to share your breakfast and your dinner, I want you in the shower and in your bed and with soft steps to bring you coffee (I take mine black) Your strong arms, the legs that power your thrust, your lips of pleasure, these are the fuel of my desire.

...no it is no secret, my love, and to put it very simply, I want you.

anna and her reason for existence

2005-04-20T19:28:00.000+08:00

God made us out of love. He saved us because He loves us so much. What more can I say but the reason why I lived is only because of LOVE. I agree that “the choice that we have in relation to anything is always Love”. This is the DIVINE purpose that all of us as Souls have been given – to love unconditionally. We are put into this world because it is our duty to lift each other. As what Pablo Casals wrote, “I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance”. I firmly believe that without love, this mission given to us by God will not be delivered, the same thing that we cannot reach our transcendence. I love you, thus, I exist.